What should I really do?

My family is very idkcontrling i think is the word. I just really cant stand them. I at least try to be really nice but its hard What should i do? They say they want me around more and when im around more they always get angery with me and its just hardI feel like my family doesnt love i feel like i dont belongI mean do i belong?Then if im not around they say they want me around. I cant do both eaither thwy do or they dont right?ive tried so hard to do anythin but i just cant. My spare time i right poerty yeah ino im such a loser but ido its helps me get all my feelings out. My and my sisters are so different from each other.The only person out of my family who under stands me is my brother hes like me doesnt no wat to do. I mean i have no clue wat i should do should i tell them about it? and im not going to a sychratist they sent me once it was awful i just want to no i fit in with this family else I wish icould spend time with my family but i just dont wanna be a random person Help!